There's a Difference in the Love

When as Christians we hear that God loves us, we are in danger of forming a conception of His love that is too much like natural love between humans.  Because God is "stuck" with being a infinite and perfect Being, the nature of His love is different than ours for each-other, or for Him.

We love God best when we delight in Him most.  God loves us best when He most delights our heart in Him.  We love God by saying, "You are everything to me."  God loves us by saying, "Let Me be everything for you."  God is the Giver.  We are the receivers.  God is the Sun.  We are the reflectors.  God is the Joy.  We are the enjoyers.  "For from Him, and through Him, and to Him are all things.  To Him be the glory forever" (Romans 11:36).

Our love to God is a response of desire and delight toward an infinitely desirable Being.  God's love to us is His doing everything needed to enable our desire and delight toward Him.  For Him to value us above all would be unloving--it would be denying the truth of His ultimate value, and disabling our deepest happiness.  It would be like a rich man lavishly praising a beggar for the appearance of his clothing, while withholding all that he has to meet his need. 

The cross of Jesus is not a Divine compliment of our value, but the immeasurable cost of giving us access to His.  The cross is not God's assessment of our value, but the necessary price for giving us the all-surpassing value of knowing Him (Philippians 3:8).

God does value us, affirm us, and delight in us.  But in His love toward us, these are only means to a higher happiness.  Our heart's deepest need is not to be praised--that is a means to the highest end.  Our greatest need is to be lost in the overwhelming satisfaction of a Joy and Wonder too great to conceive.  Thus the order: "Well done, good and faithful servant.  Enter into the joy of your master."  The ultimate gift of God's love is eternally increasing pleasure in the Person of infinite delight.  In other words, He is His own greatest gift.  Our praise of Him is meant to be a means of receiving, of enjoying Him.

What did Jesus get out of His sacrifice?  A people, a bride--us.  But why did He want us?

So that He could give Himself to us.  He gave Himself for us so that He could give Himself to us.

He gave Himself for you.  He gave Himself to you.  He desires you now.  He is giving Himself to you.  Will you receive?  There is no love like His.

A Believer's Core Identity

You cannot live how you were designed to without knowing who you are.

..."for in Christ you are all sons of God through faith..." Galatians 3:26

This was written in a culture in which the son 'got it all.'

I am a composer.  But more practically, I am a small business owner. But more importantly, I am a father.  But still more importantly I am a husband.  But most fundamentally, I am a son of God.

This identity makes me heir to the most valuable, most desirable, most beautiful, and satisfying inheritance in existence.  "In Your presence is fullness of joy."  It is GOD Himself.

How am I a son of God?  When Jesus left heaven and lived among us, He laid aside His privileges of Sonship.  When He said, "Not My will, but Yours be done," He was choosing the path of losing His rights and privileges of Sonship, rather than continuing to enjoy them without you.  The cry of Jesus, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?" expressed the tormenting cost through which God could adopt us as His children, grant us the right to call Him "Father,"and hear Him say to us, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." 

Jesus took what you deserve, so that you could receive what only He deserves.

Don't live one day without accepting your core identity, and enjoying your Inheritance.  "The Lord is my portion...I have a beautiful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6  "...I am...your exceeding great reward."  Genesis 15:1

The Non-existent Category

The modern idea of morality is that if an activity doesn’t hurt another and it is shared by mutual consent then it’s okay.  But there is no such thing. All immorality is a form of violence.  It is killing another person’s capacity for giving and receiving genuine love.  

But with God there is resurrection.

Early Spring

Love Your Wife

Recently I was thinking about what it means to “love your wife as Christ loved the church.”  This is the key to a good marriage, right?  But think about this:

If you love your wife with single-hearted devotion and consistent sacrificial service, then can you be sure--

That you’ll ensure the results you want when you want them? 

That you’ll guarantee the relationship of your dreams? 

If you treat her like a queen, will she treat you like a king?  Maybe, but not necessarily. Ask Hosea the prophet. (See the book of Hosea.) If you’re still not convinced, then ask Jesus.  He is the one and only perfect bridegroom, with a flawless record and ongoing perfect performance.  He has sought and is continually seeking the highest joy of His bride, but He is still often belittled, ignored, or refused.  Have you ever slighted or ignored the Lover of your soul?  If you have responded this way to perfect love, then you should never feel entitled to a correct response to your love.  We need to be wary of basing our love on the desired response to it.

Sometimes I’m afraid we subconsciously mix our American pragmatism in with the call of the gospel-pattern.  Even with teaching on the desired benefits of living according to the pattern Christ sets for husbands in marriage, we are in danger of subtly clinging to the natural desire of our heart to stay in control.  (The same holds true on Bible-teaching about parenting.)  The danger exists in any teaching on relationships that implies, “As long as you do A, you will ensure B.”  God will always satisfy the soul that seeks Him but He is the only one with whom right relationship has a sure result--and the necessity of right relationship with Him is losing control, by releasing it to Him.  In human relationships, there is no formula for obtaining the outcome we want when we want it—no matter how pure our desire, or healthy our means.  The path of love is not a guaranteed success formula.

The point of this post is not to discourage husbands or put down wives.  Nor is it a not-so-subtle complaint against my own wonderful wife!*  In fact, husbands likely have greater cumulative blame for poor marriages than wives do.  My point is that, for us to “love our wives like Christ loved the church,” we need to understand what that means.  One thing it does not mean is, “act in the way that will ensure the results you want when you want them.”  Jesus, the perfect Discipler, had deficient disciples.  Jesus, the perfect Lover, has an unreliable bride.  Removing the expectation of guaranteed results on our timetable necessitates having a motive for love that will last without it.  If the motive is not guaranteed results, then what is it?

The only way to love your spouse consistently and enduringly is by it being the overflow of Christ’s own sacrificial and satisfying love for you.  Your love must be the pursuit of her joy and transformation through that same satisfaction.  The consistency of your love will not depend on her responsiveness, but on His constancy.

Yes, this is the way that desirable effects will most likely take place, that your wife will be happy and become all that God made her to be.  It is the path for discovering the best possible marriage.  Christ’s bride will be radiant.  But remember the journey of Hosea, and remember that of Jesus.  To truly love another “as Christ loved” you means depending ultimately on His beauty, on His love for you. It means relishing the promise of the outcome that He has ensured through His sacrifice.  It means leaning on Him in your pursuit of her good.  And like Hosea, it means discovering the staggering mercy and sufficiency of the ultimate Bridegroom.  This beauty makes it all worth it.

“I will heal their apostasy; I will love them freely, for My anger has turned away from them… O Ephraim, what more have I to do with idols?  It is I who answer and look after you.  I am like a luxuriant cypress; from Me comes your fruit.” Hosea 14:4,8

*[This post is officially approved by my wife. :)]

Deeper

New love is fun, but it cannot compare with well-aged love, carefully forged through time and trials.

The longer a relationship lasts, the deeper its potential for greatness.

Story and Song

 "I had always felt life first as a story: and if there is a story there is a story-teller." -G.K. Chesterton

But if God is the Author, then why such a story--full of sorrow and suffering, disappointment and pain?  Those familiar with the Bible know that the characters in the story have rebelled against the Author, and unleashed an unrelenting torrent of sorrow through their sin.  But the Author has not given up His place. Moreover, the unusual thing about this story is that the Author is also the main Character.   And this is where things really get strange.  The climax of HisStory is when He humbly steps onto the stage, becoming a man, and enters the unfamiliar confines of time and space.  He struggled, suffered and grieved like every other character in the story, yet without sin.  But then, in the end, He did far more--He drank a cup of infinite pain.  On the cross, Christ was torn from the Father, rejected, forsaken, and cursed.  To the only begotten Son, this was infinite pain--the cost of redemption.  But this was part of the very plot that He co-authored. 

Author N.D. Wilson has a good insight--why does any author include difficulties and obstacles in a story?  So that the hero can overcome them.  So why would the Author of the Story create a world in which He would suffer infinite pain?

So that we could know Him as the ultimate Hero.  So that you could know Him as your ultimate Hero.

You cannot perceive life accurately unless you are hearing this Story, the Song of God--the song of the Gospel, the cosmic love song.

Your life is part of an epic story in which your hardships and the way you respond to them play a critical role.  Will you cling to the Hero and reflect His glory, or get lost in your own little world?

To have a good grip on reality we need a healthy dose of fiction.  We need good stories to remind us that we are in one.  If we trust the Author and play our part, we can enjoy it--the true story, the best one, in which the Author is the main character and ultimate Hero, who will one day right all wrongs, redeem all sorrows, and make all things new.